So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woke up backwards on a recliner
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
