Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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