you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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