White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
