Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize