yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
