yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
