why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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