Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The uberlube is also flammable
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize