just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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