Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Even my vagina gasped.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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