Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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