put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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