When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
