You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
