I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
