I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
