you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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