I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
