So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
