Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
