There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
