i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
