I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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