So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
