Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
my god I love twenty year old dicks
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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