my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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