it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
