She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
