Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
