Her vagina should come with caution tape.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Randomize
