mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize