what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
