i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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