I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This is my gift to your gina
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
