If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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