Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize