He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
