You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
