Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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