We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
