Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
