My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
