I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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