your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
