He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize