Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
