i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
