Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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