The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You need Xanax blowdarts
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
