Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
