I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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