ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
