every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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