dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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