gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
