and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
